The Spuds

Anonymity is a beautiful thing. It gives you the ability to create mysteries, to hide behind masks, to be someone else. It can grant you the freedom to do, say, or think anything without having the fear of consequence chasing you like a rabid dog. It also provides a way for people to post hate and insult others. That isn’t very nice so if anyone wants to hate or insult me feel free to do so with your real names so I can hunt you down with an axe later. I’m just kidding.

Who would ever want to hate some potato girl anyway? That’s right. The potato girl is me. I have a variety of nicknames, some of which have totally no relation to my real name. My name is Hannah Emrys Abraham Sojor. You can call me Hamie, Hams, Han, Na, Melo, Chum-chum, Twee, Piggy, or whatever you can think of. I prefer to be called the potato girl though.

I have often been compared to various animals and things including pigs, rabbits, hamsters, puppies and hyenas. I don’t consider myself as fat so it may be hard to understand why I was compared to a pig. It may be because I was born in the year of the pig or it may be because I love bacon a lot. (with potatoes of course.) I guess people tend to see me as a bunny or a hamster because of my timid and shy nature around strangers. I am told that my face looks like a rabbit when I’m pleased. I highly doubt that.

My friends say I’m lazy and happy-go-lucky. Honestly I just seem that way because I have the urge to sleep every time I hear the teachers’ voices. Their words are like sleeping pills to the ears. Staying awake in class is like a boxing match where you have to try really hard to dodge the punches and keep yourself from getting knocked out.

It’s a wonder how I managed to graduate high school and get into a good university. I never studied and I always fell asleep in class. I got good grades regardless of my behavior. It may be because the teacher’s evil faces haunt me in my dreams and give me lectures there.

I like to doodle, to draw, to write, and to paint. I’m not as good as I want to be and I will never be satisfied in a million years. The only thing I am actually satisfied with is potatoes.

In high school, I came to be known as the potato girl among my friends because of my unnatural obsession with potatoes. I used to doodle potato creatures all over my notebooks. I randomly talked about potatoes just to start up a conversation with anyone and everyone. I loved to eat anything with potatoes. French fries, mashed potatoes, potato chips, and potato salad are just some of my favorite potato dishes.

There was a time that I made an animation of a flying potato just for fun. It wasn’t very good but I loved it to death. I sometimes search the internet for similar animations but, sadly, I find none. I found a potato song in the internet once and I’ve had the tune stuck in my head ever since.

Flying Potatooooo by ~chiihime-chan on deviantART

I want to give a shout out to all the Irish people out there who seem to love potatoes as much as I. The way they say the word potato is just so adorable. I often watch videos on Irish accents just to hear them say my favorite word.

I imagine your faces to be scrunched up in confusion by now. You must be wondering, “What’s wrong with this potato girl?”  Well, I’ll tell you what. Nothing, that’s what! That’s just how a potato girl works in a potato world so deal with it. I hope you will be able to forgive my ramblings and understand that your decision to read this is not my responsibility.

I am an artist, a writer, a student, and a nonsensical creature. Most of all I am a potato girl and I love it. Smile today and know that you are not the weirdest kid in the world and neither am I.

All hail the potato lovers and let us all spread the potato word. Show some love to all the lovely spuds out there and never be afraid to show your crazy side.

Till we MEAT again spudders.